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Kill the Farm Boy

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Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told. This is not that fairy tale. There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened. And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell. There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he's Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told. This is not that fairy tale. There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened. And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell. There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he's bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there's the Dark Lord who wishes for the boy's untimely death . . . and also very fine cheese. Then there's a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar "happily ever after" that ever once-upon-a-timed.


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Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told. This is not that fairy tale. There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened. And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell. There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he's Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told. This is not that fairy tale. There is a Chosen One, but he is unlike any One who has ever been Chosened. And there is a faraway kingdom, but you have never been to a magical world quite like the land of Pell. There, a plucky farm boy will find more than he's bargained for on his quest to awaken the sleeping princess in her cursed tower. First there's the Dark Lord who wishes for the boy's untimely death . . . and also very fine cheese. Then there's a bard without a song in her heart but with a very adorable and fuzzy tail, an assassin who fears not the night but is terrified of chickens, and a mighty fighter more frightened of her sword than of her chain-mail bikini. This journey will lead to sinister umlauts, a trash-talking goat, the Dread Necromancer Steve, and a strange and wondrous journey to the most peculiar "happily ever after" that ever once-upon-a-timed.

30 review for Kill the Farm Boy

  1. 5 out of 5

    Michelle

    I knew that “Kill The Farm Boy” is meant to be a more light-hearted romp of an adventure story, but I really didn't find it engaging. At first I was chuckling, then rolling my eyes, then shaking my head, then getting angry -- until I couldn’t wait to get it over with. This was advertised as a comic fantasy in the tradition of “The Princess Bride” and the “Discworld”stories, but its humor is nothing like those. The humor attacks rather than amuses, and with long sections of jokes about bodily excr I knew that “Kill The Farm Boy” is meant to be a more light-hearted romp of an adventure story, but I really didn't find it engaging. At first I was chuckling, then rolling my eyes, then shaking my head, then getting angry -- until I couldn’t wait to get it over with. This was advertised as a comic fantasy in the tradition of “The Princess Bride” and the “Discworld”stories, but its humor is nothing like those. The humor attacks rather than amuses, and with long sections of jokes about bodily excretions and masturbation. “Kill the Farm Boy” could have been a clever send up of our favorite fantasy tropes, but instead of lovingly roasting them, they are beaten to death with a heavy hand. There are just too many over the top fantasy tropes constantly under a barrage of puns, stupid language, and flat out being made fun of while also having a not so subtle undercurrent of leftist garbage identity politics being pushed. The same ideas are repeated again and again until you can practically make the joke for the book. There’s not really much else to say, and I don’t think you’re missing anything if you skip reading this. Shall I discuss the plot? There is none, really--only a flimsy clothesline to link some of the gags; The characters? They are all types or targets, not people; The dialogue? Just mindless drivel mostly consisting of badly strung together sets of low brow puns and jokes. This was exhausting to read, and I am immensely relieved to be finished and be rid of this book!

  2. 4 out of 5

    Lyn

    There may be a sub-genre in the fantasy list about parody and satire: turning fairy tales on their backside and having some fun. Tons o’ fun writers Kevin “I play a druid on TV” Hearne and Delilah Dawson break it all down for us in this 2018 retelling and reimagining of fairy tales. The premise is entertaining enough but the two collaborators make this better with droll word play and double entendres aplenty (and more than a handful of penis jokes – like what I did there?) This is to the fantasy / There may be a sub-genre in the fantasy list about parody and satire: turning fairy tales on their backside and having some fun. Tons o’ fun writers Kevin “I play a druid on TV” Hearne and Delilah Dawson break it all down for us in this 2018 retelling and reimagining of fairy tales. The premise is entertaining enough but the two collaborators make this better with droll word play and double entendres aplenty (and more than a handful of penis jokes – like what I did there?) This is to the fantasy / fairy tale as Spaceballs is to the Star Wars films, a whimsical but well thought out satire. It also made me think of John Scalzi’s 2011 short story The Shadow War of the Night Dragons, Book One: The Dead City. Prologue. And this leads me to my only criticism: too long. True, 389 pages is not a lengthy book by most standards, but Scalzi recognized that there is only so much snark you can stretch into an idea, even a good one. Like a funny Saturday Night Live sketch made into a film, there’s just not enough substance to fill it out. This would make a great short work or even a novella but by the end I was ready to be done. It is funny and overall an enjoyable read from two very talented writers. Thanks to Netgalley for a free copy of this book that was provided in exchange for an honest review.

  3. 5 out of 5

    Kelly (and the Book Boar)

    Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/ I’m not even gonna lie and try to say when I first heard of this title, my mind didn’t immediately go . . . . The book wasn’t afraid to go there as well . . . . “Worstley is eighteen, white as milk, and tall and strong with wavy blond hair and earnest blue eyes that sparkle with a call to greatness.” It wasn’t afraid to “kill” him for most of the story either. Which left the remaining ensemble cast to . . . . And me with a reaction t Find all of my reviews at: http://52bookminimum.blogspot.com/ I’m not even gonna lie and try to say when I first heard of this title, my mind didn’t immediately go . . . . The book wasn’t afraid to go there as well . . . . “Worstley is eighteen, white as milk, and tall and strong with wavy blond hair and earnest blue eyes that sparkle with a call to greatness.” It wasn’t afraid to “kill” him for most of the story either. Which left the remaining ensemble cast to . . . . And me with a reaction that was more like . . . . I have to confess that I had to look up Kevin Hearne due to my unfamiliarity with his stuff. I still have no clue who Delilah S. Dawson is. What I do know is this book had some pretty killer swag that I wish I would have been a part of even if the book didn’t end up being a winner for me . . . . That’s how you do a marketing campaign, kids. Sadly, though, Kill the Farm Boy ended up being a fail. Not only did it seem to drag on and on without a lot of content to propel it, but apparently I’ve grown too old to endure endless fart and boner jokes. Well, maybe some fart stuff will always be funny . . . . I wanted Monty Python - I ended up with Van Wilder. And it’s #1 in a series????

  4. 4 out of 5

    Tim

    Another decent start wasted on the rest of this story. While there are some decent bit parts, it takes a complete story to make a good book. 2 of 10 stars

  5. 5 out of 5

    Amanda Kratz

    I gave it a good college try but I just couldn’t get through it. DNF @ 54% (and I really pushed myself to make it that far). I never DNF books and I just couldn’t get into this at all. It is so over the top slapstick humor that it becomes detailed and boring. Yes there are many quips I laughed at and there are some clever jokes to be sure but quantity is not quality. It’s just too much all the time. It’s like watching a never ending episode of a comedy series without the heartfelt moral at the en I gave it a good college try but I just couldn’t get through it. DNF @ 54% (and I really pushed myself to make it that far). I never DNF books and I just couldn’t get into this at all. It is so over the top slapstick humor that it becomes detailed and boring. Yes there are many quips I laughed at and there are some clever jokes to be sure but quantity is not quality. It’s just too much all the time. It’s like watching a never ending episode of a comedy series without the heartfelt moral at the end. I feel the plot really suffered to make way for the jokes. This is meant to mock and poke fun at every trope in fantasy novels and seriously nothing at all goes the way you would think. It is extremely unpredictable. It very much embraces absurdity, but again it is just too much. I appreciate what it was trying to do but I was just bored and annoyed a bit. The characters all have strange quirks that become the focus of their attention and many conversations revolve around said quirk. Example: The Dark Lord is obsessed with cheese and artisanal crackers, or the clumsy assassin (who falls the moment we meet her) who is terrified of chickens. Part of me wonders though had this been a TV show or comedy sketch if I would have enjoyed it more. I almost think watching this would have made it more bearable. Pros: - The map in the beginning is hilarious and wonderfully drawn. - Mocking chain mail bikini armor - Tons of dad humor pun jokes - Talking animals - Diversity rep - Mocking so many known fairy tales/stories. (Seriously I loved trying to figure them all out) - No tropes (or significant mocking of all tropes) Cons: - Too many penis/boob/sex/poop jokes. In particular they really go over board in the elvish land of Morning Wood (go ahead and imagine some jokes- you are right) - Vocabulary (seriously did they have to use all 365 obscure words from the word of a day calendar. I mean my vocabulary could use a bit of work but geeeze and I was constantly looking things up) Just a few examples: Crepuscular, Piquant, Ungulate, Dyspeptic, Fecund, (if you are able to define any of these words on your own gold star to you) - Tons of dad humor pun jokes begins to get groan worthy after a while - Dialogue tends to ramble and go off on weird tangents - The character quirks take on a life of their own - Everything about Morningwood Overall this just wasn’t for me, however people who love mocking fantasy tropes will love this. It is light hearted and fun and jokes aplenty, it just became a chore for me to keep picking it up.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Sh3lly (grumpybookgrrrl)

    RELEASE DAY! Original post: Another wish granted by publisher, Del Rey, through Netgalley! Release date: July 17, 2018

  7. 5 out of 5

    Beth

    Monty Python meets every fairy tale you could imagine plus some and you've got Kill the Farm Boy. Packed full of slap stick humor, outrageous characters and fairy tale antics to the extreme! Part of me cracked up laughing and part of me was shaking my head at the outlandishness. While reading, I couldn't help but think this book would be perfect for those who love the comedy of SPACE BALLS the movie. It was just a fun, fanciful read. I received this ARC copy of Kill the Farm Boy from Random Hous Monty Python meets every fairy tale you could imagine plus some and you've got Kill the Farm Boy. Packed full of slap stick humor, outrageous characters and fairy tale antics to the extreme! Part of me cracked up laughing and part of me was shaking my head at the outlandishness. While reading, I couldn't help but think this book would be perfect for those who love the comedy of SPACE BALLS the movie. It was just a fun, fanciful read. I received this ARC copy of Kill the Farm Boy from Random House Publishing Group - Ballantine - Del Rey. This is my honest and voluntary review. Kill the Farm Boy is set for publication July 17, 2018. My Rating: 3.5 stars Written by: Kevin Hearne Series: The Tales of Pell Sequence in Series: Book 1 Hardcover: 384 pages Publisher: Del Rey Publication Date: July 17, 2018 ISBN-10: 152479774X ISBN-13: 978-1524797744 Genre: Fantasy | Comedy Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/Kill-Farm-Boy-... Barnes & Noble: https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/kill... Itunes: https://itunes.apple.com/us/book/kill... For more reviews check out Tome Tender's Book Blog or find us on Facebook.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Robin Bonne

    No fantasy trope or gender cliché is safe from being turned into a joke in Kill the Farm Boy. The clever writing and action packed absurdity had me laughing out loud several times. Staph, a tricky pixie, sets Gustave the goat, and his pooboy, Worstly, on a quest because it is their destiny. Then, they meet up with more hilarious members of their questing party, including a vegetarian warrior, and a bunny-woman bard. This book was fantastic. It dealt with many problems I have with the genre, but i No fantasy trope or gender cliché is safe from being turned into a joke in Kill the Farm Boy. The clever writing and action packed absurdity had me laughing out loud several times. Staph, a tricky pixie, sets Gustave the goat, and his pooboy, Worstly, on a quest because it is their destiny. Then, they meet up with more hilarious members of their questing party, including a vegetarian warrior, and a bunny-woman bard. This book was fantastic. It dealt with many problems I have with the genre, but in such a humorous way that it warmed my heart. Highly recommended. Thanks to NetGalley and the publisher for a free copy of this ebook for an unbiased review.

  9. 4 out of 5

    *Thea 'Wookiee'sMama' Wilson*

    Update 4th August - currently listening to the audiobook of this book now and so far the narration is excellent, just what the book needed! _____________ Awesome! What a funny book, reading it got me more than a few odd looks from my hubby over my inane giggling bouts while reading. I've not giggled aloud quite so much over a book since I read Tom Holt's Snow White and the Seven Samurai years ago. Lots of jokes, twists and puns on the fantasy genre and the good old fantasy norms in general made the Update 4th August - currently listening to the audiobook of this book now and so far the narration is excellent, just what the book needed! _____________ Awesome! What a funny book, reading it got me more than a few odd looks from my hubby over my inane giggling bouts while reading. I've not giggled aloud quite so much over a book since I read Tom Holt's Snow White and the Seven Samurai years ago. Lots of jokes, twists and puns on the fantasy genre and the good old fantasy norms in general made the book so get enjoyable for me along with a good dash of adult humour for good measure along with a great deal of poo jokes! There's nothing that I could claim as off-putting for me this time and although I will acknowledge that others have found problems within the pages I had none of that trouble myself. Any issues with the characters , the prose or the world building (if there were any) were neatly disguised under all the humour, joking and general piss-taking. Fantastic fun and a fabulous recommendable read for me! Can't wait to see it there's a sequel coming as it will be a definate must read.

  10. 4 out of 5

    Juli

    When I heard about this book, I immediately had to read it. I love Kevin Hearne's Iron Druid series. The first book of his new Seven Kennings fantasy series, A Plague of Giants, was an awesome read as well. I like the humor in the Iron Druid series and hoped Kill the Farm Boy would have more of the same. The book blurb invoked Princess Bride, promising humor along the lines of that classic plus Terry Pratchett's Discworld. I jumped right on it....had to read it. When I read an advanced readers co When I heard about this book, I immediately had to read it. I love Kevin Hearne's Iron Druid series. The first book of his new Seven Kennings fantasy series, A Plague of Giants, was an awesome read as well. I like the humor in the Iron Druid series and hoped Kill the Farm Boy would have more of the same. The book blurb invoked Princess Bride, promising humor along the lines of that classic plus Terry Pratchett's Discworld. I jumped right on it....had to read it. When I read an advanced readers copy, I promise to give an honest review. And I'm going to do just that. I enjoy Kevin Hearne's books. I've read them all. Look forward to more. But I didn't like Kill the Farm Boy. I expected wit, a dash of sarcasm, and irreverent references like Discworld....plus the tongue-in-cheek fairy tale quality of Princess Bride. Afterall, the book blurb did compare this new book to both of those. But....Kill the Farm Boy is instead filled with lowbrow dick jokes, constant quips about masturbation, farting, poo, boogers.....it's like being dropped into room full of middle schoolers who don't have to watch their language. I found the humor as forced as an Adam Sandler movie. Nothing like Terry Pratchett or William Goldman's Princess Bride. I read about 75% of the book.....and DNF'd it as unreadable. Now....this is entirely my opinion. Others might read it and absolutely love it. I did not. I expected more from this book....and it disappointed me. I found the humor forced and juvenile. Not my cup of tea. For me, the plot was also tired and recycled. This series is just not for me. Moving on. I still love, love, love Kevin Hearne. And I will still be right at the front of the line the next time he has a book come out. I'm not familiar with his co-author on this book -- Delilah Dawson -- but I know she writes humorous, dark fantasy for adults and teens that have received good ratings from reviewers. Like I said....this series is just not for me. I hope others love it, and that they co-author more books to make those readers happy. I, however, am moving on. Not every book is for every person. **I voluntarily read an advanced readers copy of this book from Random House/Ballentine via NetGalley. All opinions expressed are entirely my own.**

  11. 4 out of 5

    Billie

    A Rogue. A Bard. A Warrior. A Wizard. A Goat. Where's the Farm Boy you ask? Well, he's dead, isn't he? Did you not read the title? I mean, maybe he wasn't killed so much as died in a ridiculous and tragic accident involving a tower and a rope of hair and a seven-foot-tall warrior woman falling on him, but dead is dead. And the rest of them are going questing to find the sand witch to see if she can cure his deadness, so it's fine. It'll all be fine. Filled with puns (not actually a selling point for A Rogue. A Bard. A Warrior. A Wizard. A Goat. Where's the Farm Boy you ask? Well, he's dead, isn't he? Did you not read the title? I mean, maybe he wasn't killed so much as died in a ridiculous and tragic accident involving a tower and a rope of hair and a seven-foot-tall warrior woman falling on him, but dead is dead. And the rest of them are going questing to find the sand witch to see if she can cure his deadness, so it's fine. It'll all be fine. Filled with puns (not actually a selling point for me) and gleefully skewering every cliche of fantasy/quest fiction (I could almost hear Hearne and Dawson snickering in their tequila as I read), this is a ridiculous romp that combines elements of Monty Python, Terry Pratchett, and even The Princess Bride [which I admit to grudgingly because it is not that book (or movie, if that's your thing), no matter what the Marketing department at Del Rey may want you to think and no matter that the Farm Boy is named Worstley]. It's entertaining and ridiculous and juvenile and obsessed with Wizards and their towers (and other assorted euphemisms and innuendos) and is pretty much the book you want to be reading when the real world is too serious. (Okay, I'd actually recommend The Princess Bride for those times, but if you've already re-read that, this is a good follow-up. Well, maybe after you've re-read a few Discworld novels. And re-watched Monty Python and the Holy Grail. But this should definitely be on the list somewhere.) Or you could just read the scene with the troll. Especially if you're a woman. Watching the troll get his ass handed to him by a woman of color is very, very satisfying. Every. Time. (Yeah. I may have re-read that scene a few times.)

  12. 5 out of 5

    Abi (The Knights Who Say Book)

    (4.5 stars) I'll admit, I didn't get into this book at first. There were some funny things about it, but mostly the hype over its humor seemed exaggerated. But then something happened. I believe that something happened around the time we were introduced to Fia, the mighty warrior in bikini armor who has a bloodthirsty sword and accidentally sort of kills the farm boy, but feels very bad about it really. This book has an amazing cast. Fia, the incredible warrior who just wants to lead a peaceful l (4.5 stars) I'll admit, I didn't get into this book at first. There were some funny things about it, but mostly the hype over its humor seemed exaggerated. But then something happened. I believe that something happened around the time we were introduced to Fia, the mighty warrior in bikini armor who has a bloodthirsty sword and accidentally sort of kills the farm boy, but feels very bad about it really. This book has an amazing cast. Fia, the incredible warrior who just wants to lead a peaceful life (and buy some more functional armor), but keeps stumbling into violence. Argabella, a half-rabbit woman and bard who learns courage and confidence along their quest. Poltro, the terrible rogue, and Toby, the Dark Lord whose magic mostly revolves around carbs. Gustave, a talking goat whose only goals are to eat boots and not be eaten by humans. And Grinda, the sand witch whose vanity hides a fear of vulnerability. The moment this crew starts to come together, everything clicks into place. The characters are takes on fantasy archetypes yet so much deeper than they appear. I didn't expect the development they go through, and that makes it even better. Sure, there's puns and poop humor and sly winks in the reader's direction, but there's also real heart to the book. And also a strong anti-capitalist message somehow. I just love the way the book plays with clichés. Every normal fantasy thing is either taken to the extreme or turned on its head. The questing party is mostly women. There are queer women and people of color who don't die. The Chosen One hates being Chosened. And the trolls are trolls in both the modern and fantasy senses of the word. Because of that, the world is both familiar and inventive and a joy to explore. Another thing I noticed is that the book lets itself relax. It doesn't take itself too seriously, even when delivering a real story. There are little things everywhere that are just there to be funny and expand the world. Not everything is about the plot. The Necromancer Steve isn't really relevant, the book admits, but isn't it fun that everyone hates him? And the book is right. It's hilarious.

  13. 4 out of 5

    Jessica ☕

    Here goes a positive review for a book that I did not finish. Doesn't appeal to my sense of humor, oddly enough, considering Mr Hearne's other works are some of my favorite in the genre. I'm the one person is the world who finds puns irritating -- it's lonely out here. If you enjoy puns, double entendres, flowery-but-silly writing (imagine the narrator of Amelie or Pushing Daisies), jokes that go on a little too long (imagine Family Guy) or buddy-comedies, then this is the book for you. But, alas, Here goes a positive review for a book that I did not finish. Doesn't appeal to my sense of humor, oddly enough, considering Mr Hearne's other works are some of my favorite in the genre. I'm the one person is the world who finds puns irritating -- it's lonely out here. If you enjoy puns, double entendres, flowery-but-silly writing (imagine the narrator of Amelie or Pushing Daisies), jokes that go on a little too long (imagine Family Guy) or buddy-comedies, then this is the book for you. But, alas, it was not the book for me. Not every book that exists has to cater to me. If you, too, find that this book wasn't for you, please try another series by Kevin Hearne -- I bet you may just love it. Hounded - an urban fantasy with a brave hero and his delightful talking dog A Plague of Giants - an epic fantasy told from multiple viewpoints

  14. 5 out of 5

    Whitley Birks

    I requested the book on the strength of Princess Bride comparisons, which seem to have since been removed? Well, this is a hard one for me to review, because it's just not what I expected and the sales pitch I got is gone now, so... The humor in this is very much not in line with my own, tending on the side of 'throw everything at the wall and see what sticks.' There's a heap of anachronisms, because....IDK, "just mention something modern, it worked for Robin Williams"? The attempts to mock fanta I requested the book on the strength of Princess Bride comparisons, which seem to have since been removed? Well, this is a hard one for me to review, because it's just not what I expected and the sales pitch I got is gone now, so... The humor in this is very much not in line with my own, tending on the side of 'throw everything at the wall and see what sticks.' There's a heap of anachronisms, because....IDK, "just mention something modern, it worked for Robin Williams"? The attempts to mock fantasy tropes mostly just say something snarky and then continue using the tropes anyway. It all feels...very surface level, not terribly engaged with the material. Princess Bride felt like it loved fantasy romance and engaged with fantasy romance even while it parodied that genre gently. This book...wears fantasy like a coat and thinks that counts as funny.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Dianne

    My Rating: 3.5 Stars Strap yourself in, make sure your sense of humor is safely nestled in the crook of your arm, this nonstop ride is about to leave the station without nary a rest stop in between, which may or may not be necessary, depending on how well you can hold your puns. Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Ahearne are running an author tag team with satire fantasy and the quips are flowing like a chocolate fountain at the All-You-Can-Eat buffet. KILL THE FARM BOY leaves no stone unturned when it c My Rating: 3.5 Stars Strap yourself in, make sure your sense of humor is safely nestled in the crook of your arm, this nonstop ride is about to leave the station without nary a rest stop in between, which may or may not be necessary, depending on how well you can hold your puns. Delilah S. Dawson and Kevin Ahearne are running an author tag team with satire fantasy and the quips are flowing like a chocolate fountain at the All-You-Can-Eat buffet. KILL THE FARM BOY leaves no stone unturned when it comes to tongue-in-cheek, off-the-wall storytelling and it all began with a quest…but so does every fantasy. And that where this one veers far off the beaten path… Loads of laughs, tons of fun and with a cast of the most unlikely heroes and villains ever, the land of Pell makes an hour in the Funhouse mirror maze seem absolutely dull. That said, perhaps best read in doses to avoid “quirk” overload, this tale sometimes gets to be juuuuusssst a little too much, too often and loses that “riding the edge” of hilarity and entertainment feel! I received a complimentary ARC edition from Del Ray! Series: The Tales of Pell - Book 1 Publisher: Del Rey Publication Date: July 17, 2018 Genre: Fantasy | Comedy Hardcover: 384 pages Available from: Amazon | Barnes & Noble For Reviews, Giveaways, Fabulous Book News, follow: http://tometender.blogspot.com

  16. 4 out of 5

    ☕ Kimberly

    First, I must give Luke Daniels the narrator of this tale accolades. Bravo! How did you not burst out laughing every five minutes?  Daniels range of voices and ability to deliver this tongue-in-cheek tale was brilliant. He brought the humor up a notch and endeared me to these odd characters. Now, please share the bloopers and outtakes! You might like Kill the Farm Boy if: You enjoy puns, slapstick humor and excessive talks of poo, phalluses, and cheese. Both Hearne and Delilah are known for thei First, I must give Luke Daniels the narrator of this tale accolades. Bravo! How did you not burst out laughing every five minutes?  Daniels range of voices and ability to deliver this tongue-in-cheek tale was brilliant. He brought the humor up a notch and endeared me to these odd characters. Now, please share the bloopers and outtakes! You might like Kill the Farm Boy if: You enjoy puns, slapstick humor and excessive talks of poo, phalluses, and cheese. Both Hearne and Delilah are known for their humor and nods to fandoms in their writing but here it's no holds barred. Puns, parodies and spoofs abound. For example, the elvish village of "Morning Wood" and the lavish descriptions of food! If euphemisms and innuendos aren't your thing, you might want to pass. You know your fairy tales and will recognize and appreciate the nods and parodies contained within the kingdom of Pell.  You will find Sleeping Beauty, Rapunzel,  and the Princess Bride to name a few weaved into this story. I found these bits entertaining and laughed aloud more than once. You're not planning on devouring this in a few sittings. Usually with Hearne and Daniels' audiobooks I jump in and devour them in a day or two. It took me a  week to listen to Kill the Farm Boy. When I listened in smaller takes, I enjoyed the humor more. It's over the top and sometimes borders on ridiculous. When I listened for longer lengths, I got distracted or missed more subtle references. So pacing is everything to appreciate all the mentions, puns and spoofs. You love unusual characters with odd quirks. An unlikely group of companions begin a quest to save a dead farm boy. The tale begins when a young farm boy, named Worstly, learns he is the chosen one. Gustave, a talking goat, is his companion.  As Worstly sets out to fulfill his destiny Gustav berates him. Fia, a seven-foot warrior wearing the most unusual chain-mail carries an enchanted sword whose bloodthirsty she must control. Fia accidently kills the farm boy and thus our tale begins. Argabella, the half-rabbit half-woman bard joins them, long with Toby, the carb eating, Dark Lord who craves artisan crackers. Rounding out the group is Poltro, a pitiful rogue who is afraid of chickens and Grinda the sand witch who is plagued with issues.  Then we have secondary characters like Staph the fairy whose wand is covered in flem and Steve the Necromancer who everyone hates.  I liked that the cast was largely made up of women and Pell offers a diverse landscape. You can see past the slapstick humor and appreciate the character growth and complexity of the story. Jokes, and innuendos aside, the story is well-developed and clever. Strengthened by their companions we witness individual growth and friendships. You want to see every element of fairy tales and fantasy turned on its head. Honestly, I think they hit every one! You long to see a Troll get his ass handed to him. This review was originally posted at Caffeinated Reviewer

  17. 5 out of 5

    Susan Hamm

    I received free books from Penguin Random House in exchange for this review... (at Emerald City Comic Con... I also met the authors and they seem like pretty awesome folks) This is more 4.5 stars than 4 but I can't figure out how to do half stars. I'm a huge fan of Discworld, Princess Bride and anything that plays with or satirizes fantasy tropes, and this fits the bill perfectly. The title pulled me in immediately, and if that wasn't enough, I laughed out loud at the map in front (their version I received free books from Penguin Random House in exchange for this review... (at Emerald City Comic Con... I also met the authors and they seem like pretty awesome folks) This is more 4.5 stars than 4 but I can't figure out how to do half stars. I'm a huge fan of Discworld, Princess Bride and anything that plays with or satirizes fantasy tropes, and this fits the bill perfectly. The title pulled me in immediately, and if that wasn't enough, I laughed out loud at the map in front (their version of the standard "this is your fantasy world" map in all the best fantasy books). I also chuckled at the entire table of contents. It's not as subtle as Discworld, but it's still highly enjoyable and laugh out loud funny at times. All the main characters turned tropes on their heads, some in ways more obvious than others, and the story followed many of the standard lines while throwing in enough surprises to keep things interesting. The book definitely met its goal of skewering the old "generic white male chosen one comes up from nothing and gets control of the land just because some all powerful being told him he was a special snowflake" trope (I particularly liked Fia's confrontation with the troll). The only problem I had was that sometimes I felt like I wanted more details. Some sections of the journey were covered with the standard "and then the next morning all the arrangements were taken care of", and I wouldn't have minded some more fleshing out, but that's fairly minor. (I could've spent an entire book with the warrior and the bard. their story and the nature of their relationship was a pleasant surprise, and ended up being my favorite part of the book). Anyway, I highly recommend this to anyone who loves the fantasy genre but rolls their eyes at fantasy tropes. I can only hope that the authors (and there are two, I don't know why Goodreads only lists Kevin Hearne, when Delilah S. Dawson co-wrote it... maybe it'll be fixed by the time the book comes out) continue the series, because there is definitely potential here for a lot more fun. (and a slight warning: I enjoyed the puns, but I know some people aren't as in to morningwood jokes and might be somewhat wary of all that... there are more than a few of those kinds of puns, but I thought they were handled pretty tastefully. In my opinion, they were funny without being completely crude, but your mileage may vary)

  18. 5 out of 5

    Kristen

    I kept alternating between loving it and hating it. The overall effect was kind of irritating.

  19. 4 out of 5

    Kira

    The first third of this was hysterical. I was reading it at work and had to stop because it was too hard to refrain from laughing out loud. After that the humor fizzled out. It was still funny but only every once and a while. The journey they were on took way too long. A lot of it was just nonsense, so it would have been better if the book were a little shorter. None of the characters were particularly interesting. For the ones I did like my interest waned as the book went on. The end wasn't bad The first third of this was hysterical. I was reading it at work and had to stop because it was too hard to refrain from laughing out loud. After that the humor fizzled out. It was still funny but only every once and a while. The journey they were on took way too long. A lot of it was just nonsense, so it would have been better if the book were a little shorter. None of the characters were particularly interesting. For the ones I did like my interest waned as the book went on. The end wasn't bad but it wasn't good either. It was a long journey toward nothing. I received this from Netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

  20. 4 out of 5

    brittany

    DNF after 15 pages, so I’m not leaving a rating. I wanted to give it more of a chance but at this point the tone & style are pretty well established and I know it’s not for me. The ‘humor’ of this book has consisted so far of jokes about poop, farts, boogers, a fairy who doesn’t bathe, and a dark lord who yells about crackers while trying to force a hedgehog and a turtle to mate. I maybe would’ve found this funny when I was ten? (Maybe.) Subverting fantasy tropes in a funny way is a fine ide DNF after 15 pages, so I’m not leaving a rating. I wanted to give it more of a chance but at this point the tone & style are pretty well established and I know it’s not for me. The ‘humor’ of this book has consisted so far of jokes about poop, farts, boogers, a fairy who doesn’t bathe, and a dark lord who yells about crackers while trying to force a hedgehog and a turtle to mate. I maybe would’ve found this funny when I was ten? (Maybe.) Subverting fantasy tropes in a funny way is a fine idea, but it’s been done before and better.

  21. 4 out of 5

    The Captain

    Ahoy there me mateys!  I received this fantasy eARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. So here be me honest musings . . . I so wanted to like this book and here I be abandoning ship.  Sigh.  This book has a gorgeous cover and wonderful blurb.  The cover says it has puns.  I thought it was going to be a clever topsy-turvy take on fairy tales.  It had a few potentially fun characters like a talking goat and a bikini chain mail clad giantess but was too shallow in writing style to mak Ahoy there me mateys!  I received this fantasy eARC from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review. So here be me honest musings . . . I so wanted to like this book and here I be abandoning ship.  Sigh.  This book has a gorgeous cover and wonderful blurb.  The cover says it has puns.  I thought it was going to be a clever topsy-turvy take on fairy tales.  It had a few potentially fun characters like a talking goat and a bikini chain mail clad giantess but was too shallow in writing style to make me care about them.  I liked what happens to the Chosen One in the beginning and was curious how that would work out.  But the humor was certainly not to me taste and the plot was practically non-existent.  The jokes were basically all potty-humor and genitalia based.  A little bit of that would have been fine but I got tired of readin' words like poo and pellet over and over again.  The plot meandered in way that was boring.  A seemingly entertaining world underlies the book but there was no depth to be had.  I gave up at 20%.  I guess ye can't win them all. So lastly . . . Thank you Random House Publishing Group – Ballantine Del Ray!

  22. 5 out of 5

    Stefan Bach

    Running-through-one-sentence-review: Goat Gustave deserves its own spin-off trilogy; rest of the quite forgettable bunch not so much.

  23. 5 out of 5

    Douglas Meeks

    Giving this a 3 Star rating was a near thing and VERY subjective. This is a story that steals pieces from every fairy tale you ever heard (and a few you never heard) then throws in a basic plot that is some twisted version of "Lord of the Rings" and "The Princess Bride" which was entertaining a bit but the juvenile humor and at times just plain crude telling of the story wore thin. While you can comfortably read this as a stand along, there are a few threads left to pursue in the next book since Giving this a 3 Star rating was a near thing and VERY subjective. This is a story that steals pieces from every fairy tale you ever heard (and a few you never heard) then throws in a basic plot that is some twisted version of "Lord of the Rings" and "The Princess Bride" which was entertaining a bit but the juvenile humor and at times just plain crude telling of the story wore thin. While you can comfortably read this as a stand along, there are a few threads left to pursue in the next book since this is being offered as book #1 in "The Tales Of Pell". It is very original, it gets close to serious at times but mainly it just subtly makes fun of stories we all have heard and loved plus this sentence in the author notes at the end may prevent me from bothering with any more books since "it was time to make fun of white male power fantasies" which would account for pretty much every male in this book being horribly stupid except for the goat. I tire of racial labels and authors who feel they have to put their labels and small minds to work "educating" the rest of us. So 3 very reluctant Stars and at this writing the price must be a horrible joke at $14 which if I used price in writing a review would drop this to 2 or less stars. Depending on your sense of humor this will be funny or just an exercise in stupidity and silliness. If it is silly then you will find this about a 2 Star reading but in any case, the local library might be the best source for this book.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Rusty

    I received and eARC of this in exchange for an unbiased review. I like Hearne's writing and requested this book based on that. The story is really not bad. I understand they are trying to poke fun at the fantasy tropes and this sometimes causes the plot to suffer because they are fitting in a bunch of those tropes to mock. 14 year old me would have loved this book and given it five stars. 44 year old me got tired of the penis jokes. There is an elven kingdom the party ventures through called the I received and eARC of this in exchange for an unbiased review. I like Hearne's writing and requested this book based on that. The story is really not bad. I understand they are trying to poke fun at the fantasy tropes and this sometimes causes the plot to suffer because they are fitting in a bunch of those tropes to mock. 14 year old me would have loved this book and given it five stars. 44 year old me got tired of the penis jokes. There is an elven kingdom the party ventures through called the Morningwood and so you have to suffer through a couple chapters of middle school jokes about morning wood. And the jokes keep coming (see what I did there? That's the way the whole book is). I wanted to give up on the book, but since I had agreed to read it through I finished it but have zero desire to ever revisit it.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Holly (The Grimdragon)

    3.5 Stars~ “Peace and quiet and magic. That was what a Dark Lord wanted. Or quiet and magic and a thriving market for crossbred animals. Get a bunch of Chosen Ones running about unchecked, and one of the lot was certain to start gunning for the Darkest Lord around, assuming he had all sorts of terrible plans to call forth demons from the underworld and steal princesses and…honestly, that was just a lot of work.” What a dong buster of a book! Admittedly, I am not the biggest fan of puns. Give me imm 3.5 Stars~ “Peace and quiet and magic. That was what a Dark Lord wanted. Or quiet and magic and a thriving market for crossbred animals. Get a bunch of Chosen Ones running about unchecked, and one of the lot was certain to start gunning for the Darkest Lord around, assuming he had all sorts of terrible plans to call forth demons from the underworld and steal princesses and…honestly, that was just a lot of work.” What a dong buster of a book! Admittedly, I am not the biggest fan of puns. Give me immature, dark, subtle, sardonic humor.. GIVE ME BANTER!! I am all about that life. However, punny humor is way down my list of what I typically find funny. So.. why the hell did I want to read a book RAMMED FULL of puns?! Because it was written by the glorious Delilah S. Dawson & Kevin Hearne, that’s why! Reader, it was worth it. This was such an easy, fun read! In the land of Pell, Worstley the Farm Boy has been newly minted as the Chosen One by a fairy named Staph. Not only that (which is wild enough), but Staph has also given Gustave the ability to speak. From there, we meet a metric shit ton of characters throughout this tale. All of which I genuinely enjoyed reading about, especially Gustave. I fucking ADORE Gustave! If anything happens to him, we riot! Don’t go bacon my heart, guys ::WHOMP, WHOMP:: Kill the Farm Boy has banter, innuendo, slapstick, fart jokes, dick jokes. I mean, really. Do dick jokes ever get old? No, no they do not. It’s silly & zany & bonkers & mischievous. It’s a book that doesn’t take itself too seriously, yet is smartly written. Dawson & Hearne take every goddamn fantasy trope possible & delightfully poke fun at them throughout. NOTHING IS SACRED!! This is anything but the typical hero’s journey! It felt like a mashup of Spaceballs, The Princess Bride & Monty Python within a D&D campaign. Absolutely bananas! Fully ripened bananas! I’ll be interested to see how the rest of the series progresses, if the humorous quest will continue to be quirky & fun or if it will feel like it’s being laid on a little too thick. One thing’s for certain, Dawson & Hearne make a helluva team! (Thank you Penguin Random House for sending me a copy!)

  26. 4 out of 5

    ~Dani~ LazyTurtle's Books

    Read this review and more at Book Geeks Uncompromised! Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told. This is not that fairy tale. This book is exactly as advertised. It has puns, utterly ridiculous characters, general silliness, and a chain mail bikini. Be ready for upended tropes, farm boy and goat shenanigans, and lots and lots and lots of potty humor. Honestly, the only thing wrong with this book is that it went on too lo Read this review and more at Book Geeks Uncompromised! Once upon a time, in a faraway kingdom, a hero, the Chosen One, was born . . . and so begins every fairy tale ever told. This is not that fairy tale. This book is exactly as advertised. It has puns, utterly ridiculous characters, general silliness, and a chain mail bikini. Be ready for upended tropes, farm boy and goat shenanigans, and lots and lots and lots of potty humor. Honestly, the only thing wrong with this book is that it went on too long which is a problem that plagues a lot of humor-centric stories. When that parody goes on for too long, it has a tendency to get repetitive and ridiculous in a not so good way. There are lots of penis jokes and tons of poop jokes which is all fine. But after the first couple dozen, it just isn't as funny anymore. The closest comparison to this book that comes to mind if the TV series Galavant. Hilarious, completely irreverent, and plays with tropes in fantastically creative ways. But the second season of Galavant was no where near as good as the first season because by that time the jokes were expected and growing a bit stale. There have also been some comparisons between Kill the Farm Boy and Space Balls. Space Balls will outrank it every time though and in large part because it was limited to a an hour and a half worth of storytelling. Every comment, all hilarity had to be worked into a much smaller space and so the impact hits harder. It just all got to the point where you knew what was going to happen in a given scene. Gustave would ask for some boots to gnaw on and/or poop, Dark Lord Toby would lament the lack of cheese, Poltro would express her fear of chickens. All this was funny at first for the sheer silliness of it and the delivery was occasionally exactly on point. Not so when you can predict the general idea of what will happen in any given scene. The characters themselves were, again, exactly as advertised and came across exactly as they were intended to. There wasn't a lot of depth to most of them (oddly, the talking goat might have had the most character development over the course of the story. Him or the rabbit-person) which worked well with it being a parody. Intricate character relationships was not the point here. I really think I would have liked this a lot more if it were a novella. At about 20% in, I was loving this book and giggling my way through it. Around 50% was where I kind of hit the realization that it was just the same thing done over and over again. And I found that I didn't even really like any of these characters except for the goat. While I enjoyed parts of this book, I don't think I will be reading the second one.

  27. 5 out of 5

    USOM

    (Disclaimer: I received this free book from Netgalley. This has not impacted my review which is unbiased and honest.) I want everyone who grew up on fantasy to read this book. Not only is it incredibly clever, but it is wonderfully hilarious. I had the most fun reading this book because it takes all the tropes you know - the ones you love and hate - and turns them on your head. It's one of those books that is fun from the very core outwards. There are these witty references, but then also this so (Disclaimer: I received this free book from Netgalley. This has not impacted my review which is unbiased and honest.) I want everyone who grew up on fantasy to read this book. Not only is it incredibly clever, but it is wonderfully hilarious. I had the most fun reading this book because it takes all the tropes you know - the ones you love and hate - and turns them on your head. It's one of those books that is fun from the very core outwards. There are these witty references, but then also this sort of self-reflexive desire to keep challenging what we expect. And it's brilliant. full review: https://utopia-state-of-mind.com/revi...

  28. 4 out of 5

    Megan

    The story begins with our hero, Worstly (inferior brother of Bestly, and affectionately known as Pooboy, cleaner of goat poo) becoming the Chosen One and embarking on a quest with his trusty goat (well, his honest goat, who tells him over and over again what a moron he is). Unfortunately for Worstly, he dies pretty much right away. By a giant woman in a chainmail bikini. Because isn't that how all heroes die? Despite the death of the Chosen One, a heroic troupe bands together to chase destiny. Fi The story begins with our hero, Worstly (inferior brother of Bestly, and affectionately known as Pooboy, cleaner of goat poo) becoming the Chosen One and embarking on a quest with his trusty goat (well, his honest goat, who tells him over and over again what a moron he is). Unfortunately for Worstly, he dies pretty much right away. By a giant woman in a chainmail bikini. Because isn't that how all heroes die? Despite the death of the Chosen One, a heroic troupe bands together to chase destiny. Fia, the aforementioned accidental murdering giantess, Argabella, the bard with no musical imagination, Poltro, the young rogue with a terrible fear of chickens out to prove her worth, Toby, the Dark Lord who took the command to go home and fiddle with his tower a bit too seriously, and everyone's favorite character, the Goat who really just wants to eat your boots. Together, these unlikely heroes will battle the true neutral characters just trying to make their way in this world, and save the already dead farm boy. And the world. Maybe. If you've ever read any epic fantasy (and if you're looking at this book, chances are, you have), you're probably getting tired of the same clichés as everyone else who reads the genre: nobody farm boy finds out he's got a special destiny, rushes off to save the world, and is usually accompanied by an ensemble of various crew members. If you've ever read any other Kevin Hearne works (again, if you're looking at this book, chances are, you have), you're probably getting tired of the puns and dad-humor. In this book, Hearne and Dawson tackle both issues head on by going over the top with everything. And dang, do they do it well. The spit-take humor was non-stop and very enjoyable. The gag got tired quickly though, and this would have made a better short story. After a while, it was just too monotonous to continue.

  29. 5 out of 5

    Mark Gardner

    I absolutely lurved Kill the Farm Boy. I’ve read more Delilah Dawson than Kevin Hearne, but I’ve read and enjoyed them both. The easiest way to describe Kill the Farm Boy is that it is Spaceballs, but in a fantasy setting. Everything that I loved about Spaceballs is everything I love about Kill the Farm Boy. Puns, double entendre, slapstick situational comedy, and a general irreverence to the genre the writing duo parodies. Plus, Dawson and Hearne don’t take themselves seriously. When the author I absolutely lurved Kill the Farm Boy. I’ve read more Delilah Dawson than Kevin Hearne, but I’ve read and enjoyed them both. The easiest way to describe Kill the Farm Boy is that it is Spaceballs, but in a fantasy setting. Everything that I loved about Spaceballs is everything I love about Kill the Farm Boy. Puns, double entendre, slapstick situational comedy, and a general irreverence to the genre the writing duo parodies. Plus, Dawson and Hearne don’t take themselves seriously. When the authors can laugh at themselves, the reader will too. I can totally imagine Dawson and Hearne at the bar of a hotel after a day at a convention, daring each other to write this story. If I had to complain about anything, it would be that while the writers are aware of the genre they poke fun at, the tropes are alive and well in this parody. Several plot twists were plainly evident, and if this story had a character that broke the fourth wall, I’d expect them to pop up and declare, “plot twist!” Now that I write this down, I think that a character breaking the fourth wall would’ve been just the ticket. It works for Ferris Bueller and Deadpool, why not an irreverent parody of fantasy. Kevin Smith famously said that he made all his money with phallus and flatulence jokes. The story obviously parodies The Princess Bride, Shrek, and just about every Dungeons and Dragons campaign ever made. The humor is at times crude, often juvenile, but always there. There’s a reason the tag line is “Once. A pun. A time.” For the same reasons that people enjoy Mel Brooks, Monty Python, and the Three Stooges, they’ll enjoy Kill the Farm Boy. To steal a meme from the Internet, “I don’t always read the punnies, but when I do, it’s to Kill the Farm Boy.” There will be a lot of consternation about the humor, but what did they expect? I’m awarding this story 3.14 stars, because I like pie.

  30. 4 out of 5

    Beth Cato

    I received a galley of this book via Netgalley. So a rogue, a bard, a warrior, a wizard, and a goat set off on a quest... and things happen. Weird, wacky things. Note that the titular farm boy isn't mentioned in that list. That's because he does pretty early on in a tragic way. Co-authors Kevin Hearne and Delilah Dawson subvert fantasy tropes in many amusing ways--I was pretty fond of the Dark Lord wizard who is best at creating rains of bread--though like all humor, it can be pretty subjective a I received a galley of this book via Netgalley. So a rogue, a bard, a warrior, a wizard, and a goat set off on a quest... and things happen. Weird, wacky things. Note that the titular farm boy isn't mentioned in that list. That's because he does pretty early on in a tragic way. Co-authors Kevin Hearne and Delilah Dawson subvert fantasy tropes in many amusing ways--I was pretty fond of the Dark Lord wizard who is best at creating rains of bread--though like all humor, it can be pretty subjective and hit-or-miss. I wearied of poop jokes pretty early on, but I did enjoy the book's great reverence for the glories of cheese.

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