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Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger

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A transformative book urging twenty-first century-women to embrace their anger and harness it as a tool for lasting personal and societal change. Women are angry, and it isn’t hard to figure out why. We are underpaid and overworked. Too sensitive, or not sensitive enough. Too dowdy or too made-up. Too big or too thin. Sluts or prudes. We are harassed, told we are asking for A transformative book urging twenty-first century-women to embrace their anger and harness it as a tool for lasting personal and societal change. Women are angry, and it isn’t hard to figure out why. We are underpaid and overworked. Too sensitive, or not sensitive enough. Too dowdy or too made-up. Too big or too thin. Sluts or prudes. We are harassed, told we are asking for it, and asked if it would kill us to smile. Yes, yes it would. Contrary to the rhetoric of popular “self-help” and an entire lifetime of being told otherwise, our rage is one of the most important resources we have, our sharpest tool against both personal and political oppression. We’ve been told for so long to bottle up our anger, letting it corrode our bodies and minds in ways we don’t even realize. Yet our anger is a vital instrument, our radar for injustice and a catalyst for change. On the flip side, the societal and cultural belittlement of our anger is a cunning way of limiting and controlling our power. We are so often told to resist our rage or punished for justifiably expressing it, yet how many remarkable achievements in this world would never have gotten off the ground without the kernel of anger that fueled them? Rage Becomes Her makes the case that anger is not what gets in our way, it is our way, sparking a new understanding of one of our core emotions that will give women a liberating sense of why their anger matters and connect them to an entire universe of women no longer interested in making nice at all costs. Following in the footsteps of classic feminist manifestos like The Feminine Mystique and Our Bodies, Ourselves, Rage Becomes Her is an eye-opening book for the twenty-first century woman: an engaging, accessible credo offering us the tools to re-understand our anger and harness its power to create lasting positive change.


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A transformative book urging twenty-first century-women to embrace their anger and harness it as a tool for lasting personal and societal change. Women are angry, and it isn’t hard to figure out why. We are underpaid and overworked. Too sensitive, or not sensitive enough. Too dowdy or too made-up. Too big or too thin. Sluts or prudes. We are harassed, told we are asking for A transformative book urging twenty-first century-women to embrace their anger and harness it as a tool for lasting personal and societal change. Women are angry, and it isn’t hard to figure out why. We are underpaid and overworked. Too sensitive, or not sensitive enough. Too dowdy or too made-up. Too big or too thin. Sluts or prudes. We are harassed, told we are asking for it, and asked if it would kill us to smile. Yes, yes it would. Contrary to the rhetoric of popular “self-help” and an entire lifetime of being told otherwise, our rage is one of the most important resources we have, our sharpest tool against both personal and political oppression. We’ve been told for so long to bottle up our anger, letting it corrode our bodies and minds in ways we don’t even realize. Yet our anger is a vital instrument, our radar for injustice and a catalyst for change. On the flip side, the societal and cultural belittlement of our anger is a cunning way of limiting and controlling our power. We are so often told to resist our rage or punished for justifiably expressing it, yet how many remarkable achievements in this world would never have gotten off the ground without the kernel of anger that fueled them? Rage Becomes Her makes the case that anger is not what gets in our way, it is our way, sparking a new understanding of one of our core emotions that will give women a liberating sense of why their anger matters and connect them to an entire universe of women no longer interested in making nice at all costs. Following in the footsteps of classic feminist manifestos like The Feminine Mystique and Our Bodies, Ourselves, Rage Becomes Her is an eye-opening book for the twenty-first century woman: an engaging, accessible credo offering us the tools to re-understand our anger and harness its power to create lasting positive change.

30 review for Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger

  1. 4 out of 5

    Jennifer

    In Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger, author Soraya Chemaly explores and confronts the gendering of emotions, in this case the gender ideas of anger. Social norms teach us that anger expressed by females is undesirable, uncomfortable, and certainly not feminine, unlike with males where it is accepted because of its normalized tie to masculinity. She discusses how this suppression of anger harms women physically, emotionally, professionally and politically, and how the world would bene In Rage Becomes Her: The Power of Women's Anger, author Soraya Chemaly explores and confronts the gendering of emotions, in this case the gender ideas of anger. Social norms teach us that anger expressed by females is undesirable, uncomfortable, and certainly not feminine, unlike with males where it is accepted because of its normalized tie to masculinity. She discusses how this suppression of anger harms women physically, emotionally, professionally and politically, and how the world would benefit from the much needed voice that the healthy and penalty-free expression of women's anger would provide. Chemaly stresses that Rage Becomes Her is not a self-help book nor is it an anger management guide. “Self-help, different from self-efficacy, is frequently what you do when you aren't getting the help you need from your society. We cannot “self-help” our way to being heard, taken seriously, paid fairly, cared for adequately, or treated with dignity. We cannot “self-help” our way to peace or to justice.” Chemaly's research and writing provides enormous validation as she connects the dots between ignored anger and common women's issues ranging from shame to chronic pain, while also offering a look at culture, sexualization, women's rights, #MeToo, raising girls, and even the beauty industry which profits from it all. Rage Becomes Her is bold, confrontational, and angry, and it embodies Chemaly's very message that women's anger can lead to meaningful change. It embraces femininity and feminism equally, because it is. “Because the truth is that anger isn't what gets in our way – it is our way. All we have to do is own it.” My favorite quote: "If #MeToo has made men feel vulnerable, panicked, unsure, and fearful as a result of women finally, collectively, saying 'Enough!' so be it. If they wonder how their every word and action will be judged and used against them, Welcome to our world. If they feel that everything they do will reflect on other men and be misrepresented and misunderstood, take a seat. You are now honorary women."

  2. 4 out of 5

    Bethany

    One of the most powerful books I've read this year, Rage Becomes Her gives voice to the causes, expressions, and possibilities of female rage. I will do a full video review on my YouTube channel Beautifully Bookish Bethany, but I cannot recommend this book enough. It says the things that have long needed saying. It also strikes the perfect note between anecdotes and hard research, making it very readable. This will make you reconsider everything.

  3. 4 out of 5

    Krystle

    Can you read about a book about rage without becoming angry? I certainly could not. Chemaly brings up many relatable experiences and topics: the role of women as selfless caretakers, fear of being publically harassed and shamed, women in politics, benevolent sexism, the #MeToo movement, Hollywood, and general injustices against women. Clearly, the main topic revolves around anger. Women are taught to suppress their anger because to express it would be unladylike and against gender norms. Instead Can you read about a book about rage without becoming angry? I certainly could not. Chemaly brings up many relatable experiences and topics: the role of women as selfless caretakers, fear of being publically harassed and shamed, women in politics, benevolent sexism, the #MeToo movement, Hollywood, and general injustices against women. Clearly, the main topic revolves around anger. Women are taught to suppress their anger because to express it would be unladylike and against gender norms. Instead of sticking to this unhealthy social norm, Soraya Chemaly encourages women to understand and use their anger, not in the name of vengeance, but as a way to create positive change in the world. This involves having uncomfortable conversations, asserting oneself, and getting involved, such as joining a protest or starting a petition. Overall, this was a great feminist read that encourages women to express themselves and strive for social change. She does not encourage blind rage or revenge, but encourages women to express and channel their rage in a healthy way, rather than allowing the anger to bubble up inside, which can negatively impact anyone. The book is intersectional and well researched. There were some sections that I found to be a bit dry, but I also found other sections to be completely absorbing. I would definitely recommend.

  4. 4 out of 5

    Mehrsa

    I am glad I read this book, but I didn't love it. It's not really a contemplation of anger that provides new insight or analysis. It's sort of a hodgepodge of feminist critique--all of the micro and macro ways in which women are harassed, discriminated against, and devalued. If you're a woman who has been paying attention to these trends, you likely know all of this stuff. Still, it's a thorough and sad catalogue of sexism. There wasn't much to learn from. If you are already mad about the state I am glad I read this book, but I didn't love it. It's not really a contemplation of anger that provides new insight or analysis. It's sort of a hodgepodge of feminist critique--all of the micro and macro ways in which women are harassed, discriminated against, and devalued. If you're a woman who has been paying attention to these trends, you likely know all of this stuff. Still, it's a thorough and sad catalogue of sexism. There wasn't much to learn from. If you are already mad about the state of affairs, this book just confirms and validates your feelings. But what now? Also, I am not sure just expressing outrage is helpful. Perhaps men are given more latitude to do so, but it's also not effective when they do it. To just point out the double standard and say that women are not able to express anger is not enough in my opinion. Anger doesn't change things. If it pushes us to organize, then great. But we need to get beyond anger to make changes.

  5. 4 out of 5

    Michaela

    ---- Disclosure: I received this book for free from Goodreads. ---- After thinking on it & reading the other reviews I honestly don't think I have anything else to add. It's a great book long overdue in existing. I try to stay well-versed in most of the kinds of information that was discussed in here, but even so I still learned new things, & spent some time mulling over the content. Having not been previously unfamiliar with this subject matter, I must admit that having it all in one p ---- Disclosure: I received this book for free from Goodreads. ---- After thinking on it & reading the other reviews I honestly don't think I have anything else to add. It's a great book long overdue in existing. I try to stay well-versed in most of the kinds of information that was discussed in here, but even so I still learned new things, & spent some time mulling over the content. Having not been previously unfamiliar with this subject matter, I must admit that having it all in one place, & reading about it all collectively really put me in a mood, so to speak. It's an appropriate reaction, but all I'm saying is that for your own sake maybe this particular book isn't the best choice for taking along on certain occasions, like to holidays w/ your "I don't want to hear it" kind of relatives. (Although one might cheekily "forget" to pack it & leave it behind at their house, or something of that sort. ;) ) Other than that note, this is a book I have already passed on to others, & find myself still thinking & talking about, which I believe is exactly what this book was intended to do. As such, I must decree it a fabulous success! Definitely recommend it, even to those that will never accept the subject matter as legitimate, b/c the information needs to be in everyone's heads. I'm so glad this exists! Thanks, Ms. Chemaly.

  6. 5 out of 5

    Trista Hendren

    I have been following Soraya's writing for many years, so I expected this book to be amazing—but it surpassed my wildest expectations. Rage Becomes Her will make you cry—and make you angry—but it will also leave you hopeful and filled with the energy necessary to create change. Astoundingly Good!

  7. 4 out of 5

    Terena Bell

    This book doesn't know what it wants to be. In the ARC, it's marketed, titled, and introed as an exploration into women's anger -- how the emotion manifests differently in women than in men, how women handle (suppress?) it, the effect it has on women's bodies. And in the beginning, it is, and this part of the book is fantastic. But then the narrative shifts with each new chapter an exploration into something unrelatedly different: a tirade about women not being paid as much, hodge-podge generali This book doesn't know what it wants to be. In the ARC, it's marketed, titled, and introed as an exploration into women's anger -- how the emotion manifests differently in women than in men, how women handle (suppress?) it, the effect it has on women's bodies. And in the beginning, it is, and this part of the book is fantastic. But then the narrative shifts with each new chapter an exploration into something unrelatedly different: a tirade about women not being paid as much, hodge-podge generalizations about men having a lower pain threshold, a section on public restroom design. It stops being a book about anger and starts being a list of -- I don't know, I guess everything that makes the author angry. Then the narrative shifts AGAIN, turning into some sort of self-help book for women with inane tips like "get a therapist" (followed by several paragraphs on how therapy doesn't help women). Well, I don't need therapy to help me deal with my anger over this book. I just threw it in the recycling and moved on.

  8. 5 out of 5

    Tonstant Weader

    Rage Becomes Her is at once the worst and best book to have started in the midst of the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation. I was already enraged and this book has so much more to make me angry, but it also puts it into context. Of course, the best thing Soraya Chemaly does with Rage Becomes Her is encouraging us to see our anger as healthy. Chemaly begins by reclaiming anger. Women are supposed to be sad, not angry. We are not supposed to have the power of anger. Anger is a demand, sorrow is acceptanc Rage Becomes Her is at once the worst and best book to have started in the midst of the Brett Kavanaugh confirmation. I was already enraged and this book has so much more to make me angry, but it also puts it into context. Of course, the best thing Soraya Chemaly does with Rage Becomes Her is encouraging us to see our anger as healthy. Chemaly begins by reclaiming anger. Women are supposed to be sad, not angry. We are not supposed to have the power of anger. Anger is a demand, sorrow is acceptance. Then she spends several chapters reminding us why we should be angry, from pay differentials, the women tax, sexual assault, health care inequities, and the flat-out misogyny that impinges so much on our lives. I would read a bit and then have to get up and chop onions VERY HARD or take a short walk just to walk off some of the anger so I could read some more. It’s not that I didn’t know a lot of this, but concentrating it is an intense experience. However, Chemaly does us the service of ending with a chapter on turning our anger into more than a fiery furnace so that it is instead, the optimistic demand for justice that righteous anger can be. It took me far longer than usual to read Rage Becomes Her. This is not because this is not a good book, it’s because it is so very intense. Seriously, if you could measure injustice per column-inch, this book is near the saturation point. In spite of bringing all the scholarly receipts, Rage Becomes Her is a very readable narrative. Chemaly brings herself and her family into the narrative, telling of seeing her mother’s evident, but unexpressed rage and finding herself falling into the trap of perpetuating the ‘good girl” socialization with her own daughter who was being bullied. This kind of honest self-reflection reifies many of the broader themes. This is not a happy book and it will make you angry, but you should read it anyway. We really need to see the bigger picture. We really do need our anger and we need to employ that anger to make the world less unfair and better for women, not just for us, but for the next generations. I received a copy of Rage Becomes Her from the publisher through NetGalley. Rage Becomes Her from Atria Books Soraya Chemaly at Women’s Media Center https://tonstantweaderreviews.wordpre...

  9. 5 out of 5

    Cavak

    Compared to That's What She Said: What Men Need to Know (and Women Need to Tell Them) about Working Together that I read earlier this year, Rage Becomes Her was a harder read for me to swallow. Both books highlight how sexist treatment still prevails in the USA and overlaps with other prejudices. I even stumbled on the same exact sources cited between them, but Chemaly will always note whenever there is a severe lack of medical and psychological studies for women. A good chunk of her sources a Compared to That's What She Said: What Men Need to Know (and Women Need to Tell Them) about Working Together that I read earlier this year, Rage Becomes Her was a harder read for me to swallow. Both books highlight how sexist treatment still prevails in the USA and overlaps with other prejudices. I even stumbled on the same exact sources cited between them, but Chemaly will always note whenever there is a severe lack of medical and psychological studies for women. A good chunk of her sources are pulled from the headlines too, so take that as you will. What differs between them is the tone. Whereas Lipman hopes and advocates a harmonious collaboration between the sexes with friendly wit, Chemaly is all about refusing to censor and to throw half-hearted attempts to the wind. She is not without reason, as she explains thoroughly how and why she has taken this approach throughout the book, yet I imagine that it can be immediately off-putting to many readers. There is no such thing as an "average" approach towards feminism, and Chemaly wants you to know how being "on the sidelines" is an understandable yet rigidly unhelpful take. She does advocate talking and active listening, however, so do not confuse the entire book as hate-speak against the ambivalent or moderates. It's really more heated encouragement to stand up for equality, even if you're not immediately aware of its absence. I understand that Chemaly will come across as strong and bitter to many, perhaps too much for the sensitive hearted. Because even her examples from her personal life are worded with a sharp edge to them; there's no breaks to how enraged women can feel. Even I felt ill about reading the anger towards sheer injustice, to the point where I had to take breaks and clear my head before continuing. I still commend her for publishing her work when she is keenly aware of the backlash waiting for her. A few nitpicks I have is that I would have appreciated more insight on how the dynamic differs for her since an Asian-American insight isn't as prevalent in the mass media circuit. More proposed strategies and examples to handling anger constructively would have better balanced out the end of the book too. Would I recommend this book to a traditional conservative American individual? Hmm... that is where I hesitate. If they don't throw it out the window, it'll be scoffed at and condemned. If it's even read at all. Certainly do read this book if you think you have a thick skin or are curious about gaining another perspective on what many would constitute as "radical" feminism. Chemaly will break you in. I received the book for free through Goodreads Giveaways.

  10. 5 out of 5

    Roxanne

    This is a Goodreads win review. This is not my favorite topic. I in general do not like rage and anger. However if a woman can grow and express these feelings correctly and move forward in a good way than I can see the point. But I have seen some people who stay angry forever about one thing or another and they seem to be miserable.

  11. 5 out of 5

    Kelly

    Anger is a Gift (Full disclosure: I received a free e-ARC for review through NetGalley. Trigger warning for discussions of sexism and misogyny, including sexual assault.) Ask yourself, why would a society deny girls and women, from cradle to grave, the right to feel, express, and leverage anger and be respected when we do? Anger has a bad rap, but it is actually one of the most hopeful and forward thinking of all of our emotions. It begets transformation, manifesting our passion and keeping us inv Anger is a Gift (Full disclosure: I received a free e-ARC for review through NetGalley. Trigger warning for discussions of sexism and misogyny, including sexual assault.) Ask yourself, why would a society deny girls and women, from cradle to grave, the right to feel, express, and leverage anger and be respected when we do? Anger has a bad rap, but it is actually one of the most hopeful and forward thinking of all of our emotions. It begets transformation, manifesting our passion and keeping us invested in the world. It is a rational and emotional response to trespass, violation, and moral disorder. It bridges the divide between what “is” and what “ought” to be, between a difficult past and an improved possibility. Anger warns us viscerally of violation, threat, and insult. By effectively severing anger from “good womanhood,” we choose to sever girls and women from the emotion that best protects us against danger and injustice. Anger is usually about saying “no” in a world where women are conditioned to say almost anything but “no.” Because the truth is that anger isn’t what gets in our way—it is our way. All we have to do is own it. -- 3.5 stars -- After nearly ten years of marriage, and more than fifteen years together, my husband suddenly and unexpectedly passed away last year - leaving me a widow at the ripe old age of thirty-eight. The grief and shock quickly gave way to anger; in the process of reconciling his estate, I discovered secrets he'd been hiding from me. These were like a steady drip-drip-drip of awfulness that continued to pummel me in the weeks and months following his death. My aunt - one of the relatives who came out for an extended stay as part of "Kelly Duty," and who had a front seat to the dumpster fire that my life had become - said something that will always stick with me, and not in a good way. She was reading some paranormal/urban fantasy book at the time, and apparently the MC was not a fan of anger. She proceeded to give me this long speech about how anger poisons you from the inside out, and the only way to move on is through forgiveness. I'm sure she meant well, but the whole thing came off as insensitive, clueless, even manipulative. (I'm already feeling powerless, like I have zero control over anything in my life; now I don't even get to decide how I feel about things?) I was still in the thick of things then, with bad news coming at me on the daily. Even a year and a half on, I am absolutely seething with anger. Anyway, I didn't know quite how to answer her at the time - probably I didn't even have the energy for a rebuttal, and just let it go - but today, I am highly tempted to send her a copy of Soraya Chemaly's book (possibly in conjunction with Mark Oshiro's Anger Is a Gift, from which I borrowed the title for this review). Except I can't hardly afford it, which is the source of some of my anger. This isn't unusual, either, as I've learned from reading Rage Becomes Her: poverty, powerlessness, and a lack of authority are all associated with unexpressed anger. My continued rumination? Also par for the course. Rage Becomes Her is an interesting mix. Chemaly both explores the sources of women's anger (rape culture, the wage gap, the caring mandate, unpaid/undervalued care work - described as "the single greatest wealth transfer in today’s global economy" - sexualization and objectification, discrimination against pregnant or potentially pregnant women, the denial of women's physical pain, etc. etc. etc., so on and so forth), as well as the effects that unexpressed anger can have on a body, a psyche, a relationship, and a society (depression, anxiety, heart failure, physical pain, abuse, divorce, inequality, authoritarianism). In some ways, this reads a lot like Everyday Sexism , and similar books that catalog, interrogate, and challenge sexism and misogyny in modern culture. (In fact, Laura Bates and the Everyday Sexism Project do get a shout-out here. If you do any amount of feminist reading online, no doubt you'll recognize some of the activists mentioned in this book.) However, there's an added dimension that makes Rage Becomes Her unique: anger. In contrast to a lifetime's worth of social conditioning that teaches girls to smile and be nice, Chemaly encourages women and girls to acknowledge and embrace our anger, harnessing it in a constructive way, as a tool of social change. At least this is what Chemaly seems to be going for. I would've like to have seen more information on anger itself - examples of how activists have channeled it for positive change, for example - and less background information, for lack of a better word, on why women should be angry in the first place. Let's face it: most of the folks picking up a book provocatively titled Rage Becomes Her probably have a good enough grasp of feminism 101, right? (But I do really appreciate her emphasis on intersectionality, which is something all of us could use a continued refresher in.) Of course, as Chemaly herself points out, there's a dearth of research on the mediating effects of gender (and race and class) on emotions, particularly anger (not to be confused with assertiveness and aggression, which are behaviors) - so that book might be difficult to write, at least at this point in time. As it is, Rage Becomes Her is a good enough place to start. Fwiw, I read this book as an ARC. While I assume that it was thoroughly researched - as evidenced by a bibliography that comprises 21% of the Kindle file - the review copy did not contain footnotes, or even a suggestion of where they might go. This threw me for a loop since I'm the kind of dork that reads those things. I'm trying not to hold it against the finished copy, but it's a struggle. http://www.easyvegan.info/2018/09/11/...

  12. 5 out of 5

    Clarissa

    “There is not a woman alive who does not understand that women’s anger is openly reviled.” Honestly, Chemaly doesn’t state anything woman today aren’t at least vaguely familiar with. How many of us were told it is not good to express anger because it’s unbecoming of a lady? My friend's would describe me as sassy, which I chose to take as a compliment, and I'm sure some men I've come across would call me a 'fiesty Latina' trying to be flirty. (I think it goes without saying that those men did no “There is not a woman alive who does not understand that women’s anger is openly reviled.” Honestly, Chemaly doesn’t state anything woman today aren’t at least vaguely familiar with. How many of us were told it is not good to express anger because it’s unbecoming of a lady? My friend's would describe me as sassy, which I chose to take as a compliment, and I'm sure some men I've come across would call me a 'fiesty Latina' trying to be flirty. (I think it goes without saying that those men did not get my number). I was often told that getting angry was not good for my health and my short temper was often compared to that of my grandmother’s. While she’s not the nicest woman, I have always admired her ability to speak “sin pelos en la lengua”. In other words, without a filter. In a way, my mother was right: suppressing anger is not great for your health and I have a healthy 82 year grandmother who is still living it up to prove it. In Rage Becomes Her, Chemaly does a wonderful job exploring the sources of women’s anger (too many to list) and the effects of not being allowed to express it in the same way men can has on our psyche, body, relationships, and society as a whole. Here she encourages women of all ages to acknowledge their anger and learn to harness it in a constructive and healthy way.

  13. 5 out of 5

    Amanda (Books, Life and Everything Nice)

    I won this book for free from Goodreads Giveaways. Thank you to Goodreads, Atria Books, and Soraya Chemaly. As always, an honest review from me. Rage Becomes Her might be my book of the year. It's incredibly powerful, poignant and validating for women. I want to share the book with every single woman I know. Actually I need every single person on the planet to read it. No arguments, just reading and learning. With that being said, here are all the reasons why Rage Becomes Her is a must read book I won this book for free from Goodreads Giveaways. Thank you to Goodreads, Atria Books, and Soraya Chemaly. As always, an honest review from me. Rage Becomes Her might be my book of the year. It's incredibly powerful, poignant and validating for women. I want to share the book with every single woman I know. Actually I need every single person on the planet to read it. No arguments, just reading and learning. With that being said, here are all the reasons why Rage Becomes Her is a must read book: - The author made me realize that I actually am very angry. Not annoyed, frustrated, sad, but angry. So many women have to put up with so much hatred, injustice and ridicule. And it's ridiculous. - I can relate to almost everything that she's writing. - I learned so much and so will you. - Highlights the value of women as caregivers and the lack of value society places on us. - Gives words to feelings and experiences that I've had before. Incredibly validating! -Books this powerful set my soul on fire -Teaches women how to make positive change using all that justifiable anger There is nothing negative that I can say about the book. Here are a few quotes that help to demonstrate the power of this novel: "Angry women burn brighter than the sun." "The unfairness that we intuit and experience but cannot "prove" as we are asked to do so often, are more likely to become internalized anger rather than externalized action." "How much is a little girl worth?" -Rachael Denhollander "Little girls don't stay little forever. They grow into strong women that return to destroy your world." -Kyle Stephens I literally had chills and tears while reading, from the power of the author's words. Please, if you only read one book that I recommend this year, made it this one.

  14. 5 out of 5

    teavious

    Your anger is a gift you give to yourself and the world that is yours. In anger, I have lived more fully, freely, intensely, sensitively, and politically. If ever there was a time not to silence yourself, to channel your anger into healthy places and choices, this is it. This was a beautiful, much needed insight into women's anger. The author asks: can you read a book about anger without becoming angry yourself? The answer is still no, especially when it's an anger that is directly connected to t Your anger is a gift you give to yourself and the world that is yours. In anger, I have lived more fully, freely, intensely, sensitively, and politically. If ever there was a time not to silence yourself, to channel your anger into healthy places and choices, this is it. This was a beautiful, much needed insight into women's anger. The author asks: can you read a book about anger without becoming angry yourself? The answer is still no, especially when it's an anger that is directly connected to the injustice that you've lived through ever since you were born. It was very eye-opening, liberating and healing to read all about these instances; and, selfishly, to understand that I am not alone in my suffering. It kills me to know that this entire humanity is built on the collective abuse of women everywhere. It is literally breaking my heart, to know that any silence that exists in history it does because of too much pain and too much stiffled anger. It gives me hope to know that, in the end, no silence lasts forever. Because, in the end, this book is hopeful. It bristles with anger, raw and valid, but so valuable because it inspires change. I think we need to stare straight into the 'eyes' of the injustice we've suffered and say, no you have no more power. no, i will do this instead with my anger. I can't say how much I needed this read. I'm so angry, and I've been so damn angry for such a long time over things I was never allowed to talk about. But hey, can you hear me now? Give me a bit more, and I'll try again, louder. I'll try to do better, for myself and for all the other women in my life. It's really empowering, to have a whole 400 pages long book dedicated to validating feelings you barely acknowledged as existing. A thank you maybe is not enough.

  15. 5 out of 5

    Tasha Hilton

    Often times we argue this topic with emotion and "rage" but Soraya provides not only insight about how to channel rage into power, but research that solidifies our feelings. Rage Becomes Her asks "What do we lose, personally and as a society, by not listening to women’s anger or respecting it?" - As we all encounter female influence at some point in our lives, this book will be important for you!

  16. 4 out of 5

    Alyssa Foll

    I am enraged. There's nothing like growing more and more angry while reading a book on anger. And there is plenty of anger to around. Soraya Chemaly, in "Rage Becomes Her," convinced me to plunk down cold, hard cash after reading the first few pages. The first chapter sets the rest of the book in motion; Chemaly makes it clear that this is a book about women's anger -- why it exists and how women are taught to express it (or not express it). Chemaly also explores why women have so much to be ang I am enraged. There's nothing like growing more and more angry while reading a book on anger. And there is plenty of anger to around. Soraya Chemaly, in "Rage Becomes Her," convinced me to plunk down cold, hard cash after reading the first few pages. The first chapter sets the rest of the book in motion; Chemaly makes it clear that this is a book about women's anger -- why it exists and how women are taught to express it (or not express it). Chemaly also explores why women have so much to be angry about. I highly recommend this book for any woman who is wanting to get in touch with her own anger or who wants to learn to channel her anger (not suppress it) into creative, powerful actions.

  17. 4 out of 5

    Toni

    I thought this book was going to talk about the science and psychology behind a woman’s anger. The author did a great job of that... in the beginning. I felt like the rest of the book was the author listing reason after reason what women today should be offended and angry about. But if you follow current affairs, then she really doesn’t tell you anything new. I feel like if you’re someone who likes to be loud and shake things up about feminism and sexism, then this is probably the book for you. I thought this book was going to talk about the science and psychology behind a woman’s anger. The author did a great job of that... in the beginning. I felt like the rest of the book was the author listing reason after reason what women today should be offended and angry about. But if you follow current affairs, then she really doesn’t tell you anything new. I feel like if you’re someone who likes to be loud and shake things up about feminism and sexism, then this is probably the book for you. This will add plenty of fuel to your fire. I choose not to get offended by a lot of things, and have found my life to be better because of it. If someone crossed a serious line about something, then of course I would stand up for myself. But I don’t find feminism or sexism as common as she makes it out to be. Even as a member of the LDS church. The author talks about how we start this in our own homes, with giving our kids, “boy chores,” like taking out the trash, and, “girl chores,” like cleaning. I honestly think I assign chores based on my child’s capabilities, not assign them gender-appropriate chores. She also brings up a point (that I actually agree with,) that we need to teach our daughters that IT’S OKAY TO BE ANGRY. After a fight, I always remind my kids, “Is it okay to be angry? YES! Is it okay to hurt someone because you’re angry? No.” We need to teach them appropriate ways to handle and deal with their anger, instead of just holding it in until we’re an emotional mess, and don’t know how to process it.

  18. 5 out of 5

    Corinne Donnelly

    Disclaimer: I received an Advanced Reader Copy of this book from Goodreads Giveaways in exchange for an honest review. 9/26/18 - I'll write a more thorough review later, but my first thought is...wow. I won't lie, I started this book with trepidation. When I get angry, I cry. I actively avoid any and all confrontation. I've even been known to walk out of a room when an argument erupts, even if I'm not personally contributing to it. You get the picture. I was blown away by Rage Becomes Her. The bl Disclaimer: I received an Advanced Reader Copy of this book from Goodreads Giveaways in exchange for an honest review. 9/26/18 - I'll write a more thorough review later, but my first thought is...wow. I won't lie, I started this book with trepidation. When I get angry, I cry. I actively avoid any and all confrontation. I've even been known to walk out of a room when an argument erupts, even if I'm not personally contributing to it. You get the picture. I was blown away by Rage Becomes Her. The blood, sweat, and tears that Chemaly placed in this work is astounding. Her knowledge and passion are remarkable. Her words invoked in me the desire to reflect on every righteously angry moment I've ever had and to absolve myself of the guilt I didn't even realize I was feeling. Thank you, Soraya Chemaly. Thank you for reminding me that my anger matters. Women (and men) of the world, please read this book and take it seriously. I promise you'll be a better person for it.

  19. 4 out of 5

    LoudVal

    To answer Soraya's question: it is not possible to read a book about anger and not get mad. This was a four star read until the section attempting to tell me how to manage/channel my rage, but that's mostly a me losing steam failing (anger can be so hard to sustain at times). I always want another three chapters of facts and stats.

  20. 5 out of 5

    Celine

    I wish the book had focused more on how to harness women's rage as opposed to all the reasons women have to be consumed by rage. It's a good primer on sexism, if you haven't had much exposure to all the ways women are discriminated against. In the end I was looking for more useful application, though.

  21. 5 out of 5

    Raven Ross

    Rage becomes me now...

  22. 4 out of 5

    Diana

    Absolutely a must read!!

  23. 4 out of 5

    Kate

    Simply: she's telling me things I already know. I don't need help discovering or validating my rage. I'm stopping after the second chapter and I don't know if I'll come back to it. I realize there are women who need this kind of information, but that's just not me: I'm pretty clear on both the vastness of the oppression we encounter and the righteousness of women's anger in the face of it. I was hoping for more interesting discussions of what we have done/do with our anger, and what it might all Simply: she's telling me things I already know. I don't need help discovering or validating my rage. I'm stopping after the second chapter and I don't know if I'll come back to it. I realize there are women who need this kind of information, but that's just not me: I'm pretty clear on both the vastness of the oppression we encounter and the righteousness of women's anger in the face of it. I was hoping for more interesting discussions of what we have done/do with our anger, and what it might allow us to become if we learned to wield it better. There are tantalizing moments, such as when she talks about anger being essentially optimistic (it demonstrates an ability to envision an alternative reality) ... but then she goes back into cataloging sexism. I'm reading more reviews to see if that is worked out later, but so far, I'm not convinced it's worth my time.

  24. 4 out of 5

    Hanna

    Thorough, intersectional, illuminating, and fascinating are just a few of the words I'd use to describe this book. I learned so much and feel inspired to stay angry and take action. Anger doesn't have to be the negative emotion we're taught it is. Anger is the emotion that recognizes injustices and leads to systemic changes. The only criticism is that at times it felt a bit academic and textbook-y, which sometimes made it not easily accessible. Excellent book for starting conversations around th Thorough, intersectional, illuminating, and fascinating are just a few of the words I'd use to describe this book. I learned so much and feel inspired to stay angry and take action. Anger doesn't have to be the negative emotion we're taught it is. Anger is the emotion that recognizes injustices and leads to systemic changes. The only criticism is that at times it felt a bit academic and textbook-y, which sometimes made it not easily accessible. Excellent book for starting conversations around the productivity of anger and how to better channel & express it.

  25. 5 out of 5

    Les

    A well-researched book that focuses not only on how justifiably angry women are, but one that spends the majority of its time deeply discussing the variety of topics that women are angry about. I frequently felt that there were too many examples of each topic, that I understood the point trying to be made in each section after a few examples, so this was irritating until I realized that there are so many examples of the points trying to be illustrated, from women everywhere that it makes complet A well-researched book that focuses not only on how justifiably angry women are, but one that spends the majority of its time deeply discussing the variety of topics that women are angry about. I frequently felt that there were too many examples of each topic, that I understood the point trying to be made in each section after a few examples, so this was irritating until I realized that there are so many examples of the points trying to be illustrated, from women everywhere that it makes complete sense to include an even LONGER laundry list of these examples. One would assume that most readers of this book would be women, though in the event that men are reading it too who do not have examples or stories such as these, the more examples they can be exposed to: the better. I appreciated the way that the author wove her own family's experiences into the text, it increased the sense of justification for anger that was prevalent throughout the book. Women shouldn't need to justify our anger, but in a more academic piece like this, such a strong sense of justification worked for me in this context. I should also mention that I read this during the US Supreme Court hearings to try and vet Judge Kavanaugh for the Court. As such, it was a timely and powerful read.

  26. 5 out of 5

    Magdalena

    I wanted to like this book. I need a book that delivers on the subtitle, "the power of women's anger." This book was an exhaustive and depressing litany of all the excellent reasons women have to be pissed off. Enraging to read! And I suppose it's useful to have such validation if you're a young woman, or an uninformed woman, or one who's never been to therapy. One chapter at the end detailed how to transform rage into power. I would have preferred a chapter apiece for specific women who were ab I wanted to like this book. I need a book that delivers on the subtitle, "the power of women's anger." This book was an exhaustive and depressing litany of all the excellent reasons women have to be pissed off. Enraging to read! And I suppose it's useful to have such validation if you're a young woman, or an uninformed woman, or one who's never been to therapy. One chapter at the end detailed how to transform rage into power. I would have preferred a chapter apiece for specific women who were able to transform their rage into social action, such as the people who created HollaBack to address street harassment.

  27. 4 out of 5

    Cristine Mermaid

    This book was incredibly enlightening and empowering. I have been struggling with rage and trying to get rid of it unsuccessfully or to hold it in which only made it come out in destructive ways. This book was liberating in that it was not about 'managing' or 'diffusing' anger but about using it as force for good, channeling the energy and passion that comes with it to propel change. As this books says, anger is there for a reason, it is trying to tell us something. We need to listen to it. The c This book was incredibly enlightening and empowering. I have been struggling with rage and trying to get rid of it unsuccessfully or to hold it in which only made it come out in destructive ways. This book was liberating in that it was not about 'managing' or 'diffusing' anger but about using it as force for good, channeling the energy and passion that comes with it to propel change. As this books says, anger is there for a reason, it is trying to tell us something. We need to listen to it. The chapters all resonated, of course some more than others. The first chapter is about how women are discouraged from showing anger, women are taught to be good little girls and that anger means you are a bitter cynical shrew. Of course, anger internalized becomes depression and not showing anger or allowing yourself to feel it makes it difficult to stand up for yourself. This chapter was about the appropriateness of anger and that it isn't a character flaw to feel or express it and gives examples of how rage has been the main force behind social change. The other chapters cover various topics that women feel angry about, research about the social and cultural issues that affect them, and the history behind them. It also discusses how marginalized and dismissive society can be about women's anger (don't you know women in other countries have it worse, therefore you have no right to your feelings about this injustice!) The issues covered include the pressure to maintain a perfect body that almost no one can achieve or maintain, sexual harassment and the threat of sexual assault, the expectations that we will put our own needs and wants aside to care for everyone else, the expectations of the unpaid labor that it is assumed we will do and the assumption that it doesn't take anything from us to do it because we 'like' it and are naturally geared toward doing it, the fact that the medical community takes us less seriously, issues in the workforce and politics, family dynamics, etc etc etc. The book truly covers a lot of different issues and it resonated STRONGLY with me. Frequently as I read this book, I was impressed with how well the author articulated my own feelings and experiences and it was incredibly reassuring to learn that others felt the same way. It validated so many issues and life experiences I have personally struggled with and gave me hope that there is a better way. I highly recommend this book for any women who struggle with anger. The last couple of chapters were about how to channel that anger into positive life changes and activism.

  28. 5 out of 5

    Donna Hines

    "What I wish I had taught my daughter in that moment was that she had every right to be angry." This book was so good I was hard pressed to put it down. Right from the start the discussion centered upon varying degrees of injustices against women, how anger should be maintained and or controlled, how women from all walks of life were not truly free to simply be themselves. The notion that the women are only care takers, they should be silenced, they should not be successful was the motto that went "What I wish I had taught my daughter in that moment was that she had every right to be angry." This book was so good I was hard pressed to put it down. Right from the start the discussion centered upon varying degrees of injustices against women, how anger should be maintained and or controlled, how women from all walks of life were not truly free to simply be themselves. The notion that the women are only care takers, they should be silenced, they should not be successful was the motto that went out in the 50's yet the notion is still trying to be applied in the 21st century. The glass ceiling has already broken, yet some still live in the stone ages. The notion that a woman cannot wear her heart on her sleeve and must not show any form of anger as to not be seen weak, crazy, or on defense is absurd. I've never been one to remain quiet and neither should you. If something is bothering you, speak out, tell your story as you have no idea who can be helped by it. Having left abusive spouse of 13 yrs and 11 of those married to a malignant narcissist I can tell you the blackmail, threats, and smear campaigns to silence are so very real. Having lost every family member and friend I once had in my inner circle has taught me that unconditional love and support must be offered to you and if it isn't you're not in the right circle. Exiting and walking away is not easy but prioritizing your life to adjust to toxicity is a must. Actions speak louder than words let that be your new motto. When they go low you go high. Use the step downs as set ups for something greater. When all else fails remember if god is for you as a child of god who can ever be against you. Forgive your enemies and grow from the hardships. Men may be applauded for the same work as women but they cannot ever take the place of women. I have the same graduate degree Masters that my spouse has yet in court I was told I'm just a 'stay at home mom'. In fact my degree is a dual degree that was earned not given based on wealth, prestige, and connections without the preferential treatment secured to him every step of the way. The amount of preferential treatment afforded my ex husband is beyond measure. For instance upon attending court for his failure to appear and failure to pay child support for a wife and three kids he went into hiding in the woods of NEPA refusing to come out. We had to eventually issue a warrant for failure to pay(15k) and failure to appear. While I showed up way ahead of time he never did and the judge allowed him extra time to appear! I've never heard of such nonsense for a court ordered hearing in which all parties were informed. Another topic discussed was childbirth and child rearing . For example Soraya noted having had a c section high risk pregnancy noting it took her over a month to heal with grueling pain. I had an emergency c section with placental abruptio with 2 percent chance of survival with a son born medically disabled with vater syndrome (5 wks premature resulting in 2 month Nicu stay after life flighted) and spent the next 18 yrs as a at home nurse yet the judge termed me "just a stay at home mom" and I did all this alone while recovering from the emergency section(major abdominal surgery) and 2 pint blood transfusion with all veins collapsed. The next 2 pregnancies also were high risk also with complications with high level jaundice and SUA (single umbilical artery/low birth weight). In fact, I'll never forget getting stuck on my back in bed unable to simply sit up not knowing how difficult not having stomach muscles would be (Knees to chest roll sideways just to exit bed). I couldn't walk for months nor do basics like sitting as my muscles were ripped open for emergency. Yet years later I was ahead of my much younger class doing CrossFit. Never give up ladies. When the author noted how she was told often ," You'd be prettier if you smiled." I broke into tears. All my life I've been told this along with the dreaded," You must be spoiled as you're the only girl." If only they knew my parents were narcissistic paving the way for a narc husband with my low self esteem. I was a top model making the top 10 locally for a national Seventeen Cover Model contest yet upon entering local contest always told to smile more and if I did I might have won. I was constantly ostracized growing up and never measured up to my golden child status of my 3 brothers. Why can't you get A's like your brother was as common as why don't you socialize more. I wanted to crawl under a rock because I had no need to impress or perform for crumbs. If you check my profile you'll understand. The feeling of women being far less superior is ad nauseum. The idea that somehow if we speak out against abuse or injustice we are all crazy, delusional, psychotic is sick. The notion that anyone deserves abuse as I was told by my ex husbands female lawyer is horrifying especially coming from the feminine mouth. It must stop. In fact just the other day I had multiple calls to my cell in which the other person never responded with a hello just a hang up and the return call was silent w/o response. So I fixed the problem and in a louder tone said hello only to receive a txt saying,"You're a psycho" God!" So the moral of the story - Speak up and be heard. Make sure you vote. Stay away from the stress and anxiety that's so rampant today. Know your rights and fight for what you believe. Mind over matter. Intellect over Ramblings. Love over Hate. Much love, this was the best I've read on this topic and a must read for the #MeToo #TimesUp movement which I'm a proud member.

  29. 5 out of 5

    Victoria

    This review was originally posted on Latte Nights Reviews. I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.Rage Becomes Her is an important book that discusses how men and women’s anger is perceived differently. Men can express anger and no one bats an eye at them, it’s expected, but women are shamed or looked down on if they are “too angry”. This nonfiction book is a good introduction to learning more about ho This review was originally posted on Latte Nights Reviews. I received this book for free in exchange for an honest review. This does not affect my opinion of the book or the content of my review.Rage Becomes Her is an important book that discusses how men and women’s anger is perceived differently. Men can express anger and no one bats an eye at them, it’s expected, but women are shamed or looked down on if they are “too angry”. This nonfiction book is a good introduction to learning more about how differently men and women are perceived by society. Most of the information from this book was not new to me. It’s research I’ve read about before. I think this is a good intro if you’re not as well versed in some of the research and topics discussed, but if you have a background in this or have done research/read it's not really new information. One thing I didn't agree with was that the author tied EVERYTHING back to women's rage. While I do believe repressed anger and rage can lead to some of the negative effects Chemaly described, I do not believe that everything is tied to rage. "Eleven is a prime ago to introduce your family to the feminist killjoy you have become." This book was well researched, diverse, and intersectional. In the beginning the author mentioned that most of the research/information she writes about pertains to women in the Western world, besides this she talks about how women of different ethnicities, SES, religion, and sexual orientation are affected by rage. This book has three distinct sections. The first section talks about how men and women’s experience with anger differs. The middle section was about the different reasons women feel rage: the wage gap, treatment by medical professionals, politics, etc. The last section was about what women can do to express rage/anger in a healthy way. I had an issue with one of her recommendations. Chemaly discusses how therapy can be a beneficial and healthy way to work through rage, but then in the next sentence says that it’s not. While I agree that there are issues with therapy/theories because they were created to treat the middle age/middle class/straight/white/Christian/male, diversity and cultural competency is a HUGE part of counseling. The author, Soraya Chemaly, is the narrator of the audiobook. I thought the narration was just okay. It was a little monotone, which didn’t captivate me and made me make more of an effort to pay attention to the book. Overall I think this is a good book with an important message, but it is definitely more of an introduction. So if you're wanting to learn more about feminism, how men and women are treated differently, this is a great book to start with!This review was originally posted on Latte Nights Reviews.

  30. 4 out of 5

    Bookworm

    This seemed like an extraordinarily fitting read given events of the past few weeks so this seemed like a timely read. It helped that I managed to snag a copy from the library sooner rather than later so it seemed like the right read for the right moment. The subtitle of "The Power of Women's Anger" made me think that this would be a good read for what women can do now and how it can be harnessed to create change. Unfortunately that's not it. The book instead is a good look at the what rage is an This seemed like an extraordinarily fitting read given events of the past few weeks so this seemed like a timely read. It helped that I managed to snag a copy from the library sooner rather than later so it seemed like the right read for the right moment. The subtitle of "The Power of Women's Anger" made me think that this would be a good read for what women can do now and how it can be harnessed to create change. Unfortunately that's not it. The book instead is a good look at the what rage is and how and why emotions are gendered, why unfortunate stereotypes like the "angry black woman" or "spicy Latina," exist and why a white man can yell and interrupt on national TV while a woman is called "too emotional." And so forth. Chemaly does a great job in backing this up with statistics as well as anecdotal stories from personal experience. Like what others said: I didn't really need validation to confirm what I've already seen or know or to see this repeated to me. There was useful information and it was nice to see some things I've thought about (but could not put into words) done by Chemaly here. But sometimes the text does seem to go off in a little bit and it's only in the last chapter does Chemaly dedicate concrete actions and steps to take. That is what I thought the book was going to be about and what I thought I was going to read, given the discussion of "power" in the subtitle. Certainly naming and defining a thing has power in itself but this would have been more helpful of a book when I was younger or maybe closer to the election. Otherwise there wasn't anything really "new" to me, here. Which is not to say the author doesn't have good work or research here or that this wouldn't work for someone else. I think if news has made you think about anger and how different emotions are considered acceptable to be expressed by one group but not another, this might be a good read to help validate and teach. So it definitely wasn't for me and I do think the book was mis-marketed and the subtitle is not quite correct. But it will likely have merit for someone else. Borrowed from the library and that was best for me.

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